When I clicked on the link for 28 days I was so unsure. Part of me was saying c'mon chan it's time to do something and the other 99% of me was petrified about doing it. I almost talked myself out of it and then arj rang to get my bank details and there was no going back. I thought what's going to be different this time from the rest... I was so unsure heading off to the info session, all the doubts and fears flying through my head but I walked through the door and that was just the beginning of the journey. There was all the common phrases going through my head, 'you can't do this', 'people are going to judge you', 'I'm not going to be able to keep up', 'why change anything ', and the big one 'you don't deserve to be here'. I'm not going to lie, I really wasn't keen on trying e put me first for a change. After all I had put me last for a long time now. I had made excuses, stayed behind because I was just going to slow down everyone else down on a walk, and just not gone and done things that deep down I wished I could but knew my weight was going to let me down. After talking through the program and doing just the basics I struggled, and didn't think I could do this. My head kept telling me a million things to not go but for the first time in a long time it was time to put me first. I do deserve to be in the gym, I do deserve the dreams and experiences that I have wanted to achieve and do, I deserve to be happy with who I am but know that I'm developing into the best version of me. The first month was tough, I couldn't run the block at the very beginning of the session so how was I meant to get through the hour. It was hard, I'm not going to lie to anyone who hasn't exercised in a while.. It's really tough. But I did it. It didn't matter that I was slower than everyone else, or I wasn't keeping up with everyone, what mattered is I tried. I got way out of my comfort zone in all my unfit ways and tried. What mattered was that I was there and I was giving it and me a go. I had to change my thinking that was most the battle, in fact I think it's 99% of the battle. And that's where Avvy comes in.
At first I had this whole commando type thinking of what a trainer was like. When I mean commando think all those unrealistic weight loss shows on telly with the trainer yelling at people to do better, or an army drill Sargent... I was surprised when I met Avril, and how much she actually works with you so you get the best out of each session. Ok admittedly she has used a water pistol in the gym as a motivator, but she isn't the horrible person I thought a trainer was going to be like in the beginning. She gets me to focus on me and not everyone else in the gym. Changing the 'I don't think I can', to pushing through and achieving that one rep and making it an 'I can do this'. She has helped me get that one rep closer to a better me and getting me to lift that bar when my mind goes there's no way I can do that.
THM has let me start dreaming again. I look forward to pushing myself and getting through the session even if it means I can't walk for two days or lift up anything cause of my sore muscles. But it's a good pain.. a temporary pain.. A pain that reminds you that you did good at your session and well done on what you achieved. It's something to joke about and how T-rex arms has become a common phrase after arm day. And if your not sure what T-rex arms are, then just wait wink emoticon I am only three months in to this journey but everyday I wake up knowing that 'I can' now. I look forward to a better and healthier me, I look forward to smashing things off the bucket list such as skydiving and bungee jumping without being afraid of the weight restrictions. And on that I promise to do both of these when I reach that goal in a THM shirt to thank the team for helping me get there as proof!
All I can say to all those people who like me before taking up the challenge to just try.. If you are unhappy where you are and want to remember what it's like to be you and dream again. Let THM help you get fit again, loose weight, tone up, and reach your goals.
I'm not yet where I want to be, but I'm no longer where I used to be.
~ Chan Sobczyk,